I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
