Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
