So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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