i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
