If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
