I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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