Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
