yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
