I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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