We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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