see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
