You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
