Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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