how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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