the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
