My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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