Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize