I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is not my ceiling
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
