she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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