I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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