Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
