the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
