but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
