You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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