im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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