I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
