you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
