P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
