U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
