Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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