ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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