do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
