What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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