seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Swine flu is the new snow day.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
