So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
this hospital has no fireball
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Enjoy the penises
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize