Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
