So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
