I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
