Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
