shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
