then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
