In the future we'll all be gay
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
