That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
