I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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