I am in a vortex of obligation.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
