i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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