i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
