This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
