Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
