I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
