when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
