you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
