I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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