Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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