omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
