4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
