just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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