Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
