I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
