I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
