i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
